Dear Brother

 

Dear Brother, I see you’ve returned. Did they teach you morals? Did they teach you to be good? Did they teach you how good it feels to do the right thing? They did? That’s wonderful. At least it would be. But it isn’t.

I do hate to have to tell you this, dear brother, but for that very reason I have to kill you. I don’t want to, really I don’t. I love you so very much. Much more than you could imagine. We have this bond, you see, one that cannot be broken. That is why I hate to have to do this. But it is my duty, and my duty comes before all else, even you.

I’m terribly sorry. I don’t want you to die, but you must, you simply must. Because...because I can’t go on if you don’t. I need this to happen. I don’t want it, but if you don’t die, then I would. Oh it kills me, brother, to have to make this decision. I would rather die than to have to kill you. But I want to, and that’s what scares me. I need the satisfaction of your death.

I don’t know what’s come over me, brother. Help me through this, but stay far. I can’t risk you getting hurt, especially by my hand. I want you to go far away where I won’t be able to find you. But that won’t happen, because of our bond. I’ll always know where you are. And I will find you eventually. I will. And then before you know it you’ll be dead.

My dear sweet brother, I can’t do this. I’d die before I killed you. But I have to. I need to. I need you to know why you must die. I need you to know and understand everything about my reasoning. About my decision. And I need you to die, knowing that I love you, and that you died for a good cause. And I need you to agree to die, for I would never be able to forgive myself if I had to force you into death. But that won’t happen, because there is no good reason. It won’t happen because I know you too well. I know that you would kill me before agreeing to let me kill you.

But you don’t understand, dear brother, you can never understand, because you’re too alive. You are simply too alive. I don’t know how to explain this to you, but that is the reason you must die. Because you are more alive than I am. I will never be fully alive. I am of the Realm.

They taught you that didn’t they? The Realm. The place where dead souls are born. They did. They taught you everything didn’t they? Everything you need to know to combat evil. But they didn’t teach you to combat your own sister.

I am one of those dead souls. I am alive, yes, but I am dead. When I die, I will not die because I cannot die, because I am already dead. You didn’t know that did you? And now it frightens you. It frightens you so much in fact that you feel like running. But you can’t run because I am keeping you here. I will keep you here until you die. I will not murder you, because then I couldn’t forgive myself. I will keep you here until you agree to die at my hand. By not agreeing you will only bring yourself a slow and painful death. I would hate to see you suffer.

But that’s what you’re doing to yourself. Making yourself suffer by being alive. Oh I do hate to see you like this, brother, I really do, but you’re doing it to yourself, you know. Why won’t you just give in? You’re trying to keep your life but you know you’ll lose it eventually, so why not give it up sooner rather than later and save yourself the suffering? You don’t understand. You are more alive than I thought. You’re one of those that will do anything to keep their life no matter what it means to those around you. Yes, that’s what you are.

So I will continue to talk to you until you see my reasoning, though nonexistent it may be.

Do you remember what mother used to tell us, before you went off to your teachers? She used to say that you should never give up. If you’re determined to do something, you should stick to it and follow through with it. Father always said to be strong, that you can do anything, even the impossible, if you put your mind to it.

That is what I’m doing now. I am taking their advice and using it so that I can get what I need to survive. I know they didn’t mean for us to end up like this. But they didn’t know about me or about the Realm. You don’t even know the true secrets of the Realm either. We always know when someone is being dishonest. That’s how I always knew when you were lying to Father, or Mother, or to me, even when you sounded so convincing. I knew, but I never told on you.

I know I will probably go to hell for doing this to you, but I need it. Truly told, I only know that you are not of the Realm and I must kill you for that. Oh, brother, I’m so glad you’ve agreed. Now your suffering and pain will be over and you can live happily in heaven. I’m sorry to say that I won’t be seeing you there. Have a pleasant eternity, dearest. Goodbye.

Thank you so much, brother. Now I can truly live with your living soul. That’s what we in the Realm do. We take the souls of the dead and live off them until that soul dies, and then we must take another. But your soul may last me forever. It is a very strong soul, and better still since you are my brother. Now that you are dead, you can be one of us too, but I know you wouldn’t because you have become attached to heaven. Only those who would spend eternity in fire would join the Realm.

I laugh now. I laugh at your succumbing to me. You were too weak to live long enough for your friends to find you. Only one more night and you would have been rescued; but instead, your friends found me encircled in your blood. I would have killed them as well, but they got away from me too quickly.

I still feel remorse for you, but I know you’re in a better place now. I would have never let you rest if you had survived, and my companions and I would have hunted you down. I’m glad you understand now that you’re gone. I hope you find happiness.

Oh, what have I done, brother? I can’t feel anything now. Is it you? Are you doing this to me? Please, I beg you to stop. Don’t let me suffer. I deserve it though don’t I? I know I do. I’m being smitten for what I did to you. I’m sorry, brother. Really, I am. But if you’re causing this, let me go, please, ease my suffering.

What’s happening to me? Your blood stains my hands. No matter how I scrub, it refuses to come off.

I understand now, it isn’t your blood, but mine. My own. You weren’t there to save me. I remember, you were just a child. It wasn’t your fault. I always blamed myself. I knew I’d killed you, but it wasn’t my fault either.

What have I done? I’m dying brother. Save me, dearest...

 

 
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